


sweet home amaranthine || where the skies are so blue

by paladin_piper



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Not Incest I swear, Past Relationship(s), Rendon Howe is a Bastard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:39:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22975624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paladin_piper/pseuds/paladin_piper
Summary: Cecilia Cousland asks Nathaniel Howe the one question he's never answered -- why did Rendon Howe send him to the Free Marches all those years ago?
Relationships: Female Cousland/Nathaniel Howe, Fergus Cousland/Nathaniel Howe
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	sweet home amaranthine || where the skies are so blue

**9:38 Dragon**

**Vigil's Keep**

“Nathaniel.”

Long fingers traced up a winding spine. Pale skin was littered with dark freckles and moles in between fading scars, all bathed in the moonlight peeking through their window.

“Hm?”

Cecilia hooked her chin over his shoulder, pressing a kiss to a cheek that was a week overdue for a shave. “You’ve got that look on your face, like something’s on your mind.”

“And how can you see my face with my back to you?” There was a lift to Nathaniel’s voice, but it was forced. Nearly six years together led to that sort of intuition on Cecilia’s part. Twirling a lock of his raven hair between her calloused fingertips, Cecila let out a sigh that bordered on dramatic.

“Talk to me, Nate. What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing in particular.”

She gave his hair a playful yank, as if they were children again. “Don’t avoid the question.”

He fell silent, and Cecilia slipped her hands beneath his arms. Under her palm, she could feel the rhythmic beat of Nathaniel’s heart. Always slow and steady, never erratic or off-time. Even during the worst moments of battle, as long as Cecilia could place her hand on Nathaniel’s chest and feel the measured  _ ba-thump  _ of his heart, she knew everything would end alright.

“The Marches. How different Anders was when I last saw him.”

An awkward silence grew between them. They had both heard what became of their once-dear friend, with Nathaniel witnessing it firsthand. They mourned the loss of him, even though reports stated that he still lived. Where he  _ was _ , however, was anyone’s guess. 

“Mm-hm.” Cecilia rubbed her hand across Nathaniel’s taunt stomach, feeling the muscles contract and flex beneath her hand. A soft chuckle escaped her. “Trying to impress me?”

Nathaniel turned as much as he could to face her, a sly smile on his lips. “Oh, I think I already did that tonight, but I could once more if the Arlessa demands it.”

She snorted, pressing her forehead against his and scrunching up her face until his smile matched hers. “No, what the Arlessa wants is… a story.”

He sighed. “I’m a  _ bard,  _ Lia. Not a storyteller.”

“Well, a storyteller is just a bard who doesn’t sing,” She said with a raised eyebrow.

Nathaniel’s face went comically stone-cold. “Incredible. In one sentence, you insulted every bard and storyteller in Thedas. How does that make you feel?”

“Peachy-keen.” Cecilia giggled. “Please?”

Nathaniel relented with a roll of his steel-gray eyes. “ _ One _ story.”

“Mmm… why did you get sent away to the Marches?”

_ “Cecilia.”  _ Nathaniel’s voice fell and he pulled away from her, standing up with a rigid form. “No.”

“Oh, Nathaniel!” Cecilia draped her legs over the edge of the bed, crossing them at the ankle. “I just want to know! Nothing sinister, I swear. You’ve never told me the whole story, and you know my whole life story already. This is the one thing I don’t know about you. And you promised me a story.”

Silence. Then, “... The last thing I want to do is talk about my father while you’re sitting there--”

“-- I thought me being naked might help get it out of you.”

Nathaniel rubbed his hands over his face, groaning something unintelligible under his breath. Then he dragged on his breeches and looked at Cecilia, a finger pointed at her. “This does not leave this room. Understood?”

Cecilia nodded, folding her hands on her lap as she waited in silent anticipation.

“I… There were a lot of factors. I was too focused on wanting to be a soldier instead of a nobleman. I was better with a bow and arrow than with a sword or daggers. I was terrible at politics in my father’s eyes. I was terrible at war-time tactics as well and would have been a terrible commander of the military if Thomas took over as Arl, like my father wanted. I argued too much, I pushed back too much, I cared about Delilah too much and protected her innocence when it came to how terrible my father truly was. I drank and smoked too much and that was unbecoming of the ‘weight’ the Howe name was supposed to carry, as if we weren’t all traitors and murderers at that point already.”

“Nathaniel, I knew all of that.” Cecilia tilted her head to one side. “Tell me what I don’t know.”

Here, Nathaniel crossed the room and sat back down beside her, slipping his hands into hers. “It was a lot of reasons, Cecilia. But, ah…” He looked at his lap, silent for a few beats. “My father caught me in bed with another noble. And that was the last straw.”

“Oh.” Cecilia nodded, then something clicked in her head. “...  _ Oh. _ ”

Nathaniel and Cecilia had always been open to one another about their attractions to multiple genders. It was no surprise to the other when one of them commented on the looks of a visiting dignitary, and the other agreed without hesitation. However, this surprised Cecilia because it simply wasn’t what she expected Nathaniel to say. Had Rendon Howe truly been that vile of a man? Though Cecilia herself never revealed to Eleanor and Bryce her own leanings, sexuality was an open and accepted concept in Ferelden. No one was shamed for sharing a home with someone of the same gender, and there were plenty of nobles who were wed to same-sex partners.

“Could I… ask who it was?” Cecilia wet her bottom lip, then gave Nathaniel’s hands a soft squeeze.

“I don’t think you would like the answer.” He finally looked up at her, and Cecilia reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

“Oh, was it the Bann of Calon’s son? Cian Walsh? He was always a bastard, but easy on the eyes.” Cecilia waited for an answer, and when Nathaniel stayed silent, she slumped. “Well, I’m stumped beyond that guess.” 

“Promise me you won’t be mad, Lia?”

A smile spread across her face. “Of course, Nate. Never.”

“Well, it was, ah… you know... Fergus. Your brother.”

Cecilia blinked once. Twice. Shook her head a little. She could feel her eyebrows raised so far up on her forehead that she was afraid they may shoot off and embed into the ceiling. “You… you took Fergus… to bed?”

“Lia, please don’t be upset. We were young and--”

“-- I’m not mad.” An exasperated laugh left Cecilia as she cut him off. Her mind was moving faster than she could keep up with it. The words tumbled out before she could think about them. “I… I have a confession.”

Nathaniel cupped her face, stroking his thumb over her cheek. “After mine, you deserve to have one.”

“I, uh, I may have, ah… You know…” She grinned sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders. “Made out with both of your younger siblings on multiple occasions. They were both actually my first kisses."

The same cold, surprised look that she was sure she had crossed Nathaniel’s face, and she watched his eyebrows jump up his forehead and pupils dilate. “You--”

“You did too!”

“Both of them, though!”

“I was _betrothed_ to one of them!”

“Not to both!”

“You _fucked_ my only brother and sibling, for Maker’s sake! I just put my tongue in your siblings’ mouths a few times each!”

“Now, when you say it like that it sounds vile.” Nathaniel put his hands on his hips.

They fell silent, staring at each other for what felt like hours (but was realistically only a few moments). Then Cecilia slapped her hands over her face and let out a groan as a realization hit her. “Oh Maker’s holy breath, I’ve had a penis inside of me that was inside of my brother.”

“Would it make you feel better if I said--”

“-- No, it wouldn’t.”

“Figured as much.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“... So, out of the three of us--?”

“Ugh! Nate!” She peeked at him through barely-spread fingers, suppressing a smile at his light tone.

“Hey, you could have picked Delilah over me. I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Aww.” Cecilia lowered her hands to her lap. “I’m glad you decided to fuck me instead of my brother when you last visited Ferelden before the Blight.”

“Oh, Lia!” Nathaniel laughed, a hand on his chest. She mirrored his laugh, so completely taken aback and blown away by how  _ ridiculous  _ this entire situation was. All she  _ could _ do was laugh. “You’re far too much.”

They shared a kiss, soft and sweet, with his finger hooked under her chin. When it broke, Cecilia looked up at Nathaniel; the world was soft, and she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her lips.

“You’re a much better kisser than both of your siblings. Though Deliliah is a clo--  _ oh! _ ” Cecilia’s head hit the pillow, and she laughed as Nathaniel pressed playful kisses to her neck and his calloused fingertips tickled her sides. In a haze of breeches getting thrown across the room and sheets tangling around the couple, the confessions were forgotten for the night. It became a joke between the two of them in the days following, teasing and light whenever they visited the siblings. Regardless, they both ended up promising the other that they married them because they loved  _ them,  _ not because of the past flings with siblings. 

Were their lives a little messy? Yes. But Cecilia and Nathaniel loved messy, and they loved each other, and that was what mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
